Wednesday, July 4, 2012

2 Months and counting....down

 So, I am well into my third trimester of being pregnant with my little miracle.  I seriously cannot wait until September and I get to hold her.  I am not so much looking forward to the "pushing a human out of me" part but, you have to take the good with the bad, right??  I do get sad thinking about the fact that Corey won't be here for it though.  I felt I could do anything with him by my side.  If I was scared, he always knew exactly what to say to calm me down or make me feel better.  I was never more confident in myself than when he was around. I miss all of our little notes we used to leave eachother, like the two in the pictures I have on here. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had taken pictures of these on two random days.  I can forgive his 2nd grade handwriting since he always left such sweet messages. 

So, I have exactly 2 months to prepare for this baby to get here! Lots to do. I am going to be moving into a house that is in the same neighborhood as my Mom just outside of New Orleans. It's a big decision but, I need to have family close for one, and also, I need my own space. Having been on my own since I was 18, living with others (who are not my husband) is just not going to cut it.  I love it, don't get me wrong.  I just miss my privacy and MY stuff. This way, I will have my own space but I can call my Mom and say hey I need you and she will be there in the matter of minutes. Did I mention it's across the street and 2 houses down? Yeah, super close.  So, the countdown to get everything settled has begun.  I have a pretty busy schedule until then too so I need to get busy. 

I want to thank everyone for the amazing support up to this point.  I appreciate everyone always checking up on me and being there for me. I honestly would have no idea what to say to someone in my situation but, everyone has been so amazing and sometimes it's like ya'll know exactly what I need to hear to make me feel a little better.  To be honest, I did think at four months out I would be doing a little better than I am at this point but,  I feel I took a few steps back.  I know this can be normal, especially being in my third trimester and being more emotional than usual anyway.  Everyday things get me down though.  I went to pick up the furniture for the baby's room today and my Mom was all excited about setting it up and don't get me wrong, I was too,  but it also hurt a little because that is what my husband was supposed to do.  I am sure there will be so many moments in my and Corey Ann's life that I will feel like that and it just sucks, alot.  I see people post photos on Facebook of their husbands with their children and not that I'm mad about that, because I would have no doubt posted hundreds of those if Corey was still here, it just hurts to see.  Those are photos I will never ever have.  I will never get to see them together and that is so upsetting.  I just miss him.  I miss his sweet compliments, his arms around me, his amazing laugh, and basically any and everything about him.  I don't think God could have created a better man for me.  He was perfection to me. I know this post was a bit random.  Just had a lot to say.  Thanks again everyone for being such good friends and family.  I may not say it a lot but your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated and can turn one of my sad moods into a better one. I love you all.