Sinking In

There are no words for how incredibly happy I was when I had Corey. He was the most positive person I ever met. As cliche' as it might sound, he really did make me a better person. He never let anything petty get to him, I rarely saw him angry at anything, and he would never say anything bad or judgmental about anyone else. I noticed all of these things while he was still here, but not to the degree that I am noticing it now. I am missing that positive influence so badly these days. If I was ever upset about something, he would try and come up with a solution in a very calm manner and no matter what happened, he would never ever get upset. Not too long ago he got a flat tire. I would have been the girl on the side of the road pouting why my oh why can't I just go home? Corey snapped a picture of it, posted it on Facebook with something along the lines of (3rd flat tire this year) and laughed it off because that's really all you can do when you have bad luck. What would my pouting have done besides take me longer to actually get home? I have a lot of time to think and I know if there is one thing that I am going to take away from the 5 amazing years I spent with Corey, it will be his positive outlook on everything. He was like no other. We need more people in the world like that. He was always joking around. So much, in fact, that sometimes I would beg him to answer a question just once in a serious way because he loved to use his witty sarcasm to make me laugh and gosh, he really was funny. It is starting to finally sink in that he is not coming back. He should be with his fellow Marines right now doing what he loved. Life is simply not fair. All I can think is that he is smiling down and saying it's ok, as he did with every situation we were put into and I pouted that it "wasn't fair". I pray every single day that his daughter has that same outlook on life. It is a quality about someone that you simply cannot beat. He was such a good man. I am still learning from him as I sit and remember all of the things we did and how he acted in certain situations. You don't find many people like that anymore. He was that perfect Southern Gentleman. He always opened doors for everyone, pulled out chairs etc. If I had a girlfriend over he would make sure we were ok on food and drink and continue to ask throughout the visit if there was anything he could do for us, not a surprise to me as this was how he was when we were alone at home as well, but always a surprise to my friends. You simply do not see that anymore. I have decided that along with being the best Mom I can be to Corey Ann, I am going to spend my time helping others. This is what Corey loved to do and I want nothing more than to make him proud. I plan on volunteering at the VA hospital along with a few other organizations and getting as involved as I can. People have been so supportive these past 2 months and it really showed me how much a simple act of kindness can really help someone when they are in need or hurting. I wish that I could thank everyone for their kindness and generosity personally, but this is not possible since so many of them did things anonymously. So, here is my thank you to you. I may not know who you are, but Corey does and I can guarantee he thanks you as well. I also need to say thank you to Corey, for showing me how much you can love a person (not a day went by that I ever had to wonder, he was always showing me how much he cared), and for teaching me to be a better person. I love you Corey. You are the best decision I have ever made.